This is a sucking free zone!

Julian began sucking his thumb at six months old. We had only used a pacifier in the first couple months of his life (What a Sucker! post from 2007). I tried to reintroduce it when I saw his preference for sucking his thumb, but by that point it was too late. It may have been the beginning of a habit, but it was cute and an effective way of calming himself.
Three years later, Stephen and I were struggling to help him break his habit. My pediatrician told me just to wait until he entered school at which time he would be teased enough to stop his habit. I had been told by more than one thumb sucker that this might work during the day, but it wasn't a great deterrent for bedtime. We had tried the no bite polish, tying a string around his thumb as a reminder, and sending him to the corner when we discovered his thumb in his mouth. We were also explaining to him that sucking was a way for babies to comfort themselves, and that, now that he was a big boy, he needed to find other ways to comfort himself. He understood, but it wasn't motivation enough to get him to stop.
I mentioned in a previous blog post that one day not so long ago, he accidentally cut his precious thumb, had to have a band-aid, and decided not to suck while the bandaid was in place. When I noticed this, we continued to put a band aid on his thumb for 21 days to help him kick the habit. It worked! I've only see him suck his thumb once in the last month. He was in a deep sleep and it must have found its way into his mouth subconsciously.
After my experience with my little thumb sucker, I decided to use a pacifier with Schroeder. Instead of taking the paci away around the third month, I pushed it on him. It takes a baby awhile to get the hang of keeping it in their mouth, and I found you have to be kind of persistent. My thoughts were a pacifier would be easier to take away than a thumb would be to cut off. The pacifier was wonderful in some ways. It helped Schroeder easily transition from sleeping swaddled to sleeping free in a crib. His naps were a breeze. Bedtime was heaven. Around the 4 or 5 month mark, I stopped timing my nursing sessions expecting Schroeder to be more active in letting me know when he was hungry. Before, I was timing them every 3 hours. He isn't a demanding child, and he became even less so with a pacifier in his mouth. This resulted in him nursing fewer times during the day which led my milk supply to diminish. He stopped gaining weight between the 4 and 6 month mark. Once we figured this out, we were able to demand that he eat more, which he did. He began gaining weight again.
Around the nine month mark, I began to contemplate how long I should use the pacifier. I would think that by a year we should be past the point when thumb sucking might begin. I started to ask myself, "At what age would a child with a pacifier in its mouth inspire me to roll my eyes?" It just seems so silly to me for a child who is talking to have an object in there mouth. An object that they don't really need. An object that they just like. And Schroeder really liked his. If he was fussy or tired, it would immediately help him relax and lay down wherever we were. It was an easy tool. And what is really wrong with easy?
At the same time, I knew the longer I let him like it, the more he would grow to love it and the harder it would be to take away. So on the Thursday before his birtday, I layed him down for a nap and neglected to give it to him. He cried for 20 minutes and then reluctantly fell asleep. This happened several more days, but then he started to get used to it.
And now our home is a sucking free zone, at least until Maggie Lu joins us in August. I'm thinking we will do the pacifier route again, and this time, hopefully, I'll be aware of and avoid the pitfalls that pacifiers can bring.

First Tooth Lost....Check!

D'arcy lost her first tooth last week. It was loose, then she bumped into a girl at church and it became really loose. I took her to school on Monday morning knowing she wouldn't come home the same. I told the teacher that her tooth was on the verge of coming out. I realized, though, that I was speaking to a kindergarten teacher who has probably handled more than one lost tooth. I didn't need to give him any instructions.
When I picked D'arcy up from school, she was proudly wearing a tooth necklace with her tiny little tooth inside. She had been told by her fellow classmates that a lost tooth might inspire the tooth fairy to come and give her a present. We discussed that the tooth fairy was just me and daddy, but that we might decide to bring her something that night. She put her tooth in the pillow GG had given her that hangs from her doorknob, and mommy decided to put $5 in there. I know, I know, $5 is a ridiculous amount for a tooth, but she had mentioned a week or two ago that she wanted us to go to Whataburger to get a strawberry shake like we did the day before she started school and Whataburger is expensive! That was a run on sentence and these are pictures of her smile sans tiny tooth.

Happy Birthday Schroeder!

Duren Schroeder Vonnegut Williams was born at 6:04 in the morning on the 27th of March 2009. Unlike his long and complicated name, this little guy has proven himself to be a simple, laid-back kind of fellow. He's a great sleeper, a versatile eater, and he sure does tolerate his older siblings well even though he's been squeezed, dropped, bonked, kissed and hugged to death by them this year. At one, he's standing confidently, walking tentatively, climbing like a two year old, and babbling up a storm. He fully understands the word no (or at least the tone that no is delivered) and is happy to please his mommy and daddy by moving away from cords. He loves cords, though, along with toilets, toilet paper, and the dogs food and water bowls, all banned, of course. He very much enjoys opening every cabinet door within reach, and is eager to pull out everything behind the doors. I'm trying to focus his attention on the tupperware cabinet which I'm totally fine with him throwing into chaos. He shares a room with his older sister and brother who quite frequently get him giggling in his crib. He is soon to be an older brother himself to miss Maggie Lu. I was concerned at first that he wouldn't get his full share of attention with another baby coming so quickly. Now I'm convinced that he might enjoy a little bit of personal space that this new baby might afford him. He has four little teeth that make him look a bit like a hippo, a thin mass of strawberry blond hair, and, of course, the signature blue eyes that all of those Williams kids inherited from their daddy. Most mornings before I take D'arcy to school, I plop him in bed with Stephen where he is content to snuggle. This is a sweet picture. Content, of course, until I return at which time he makes it known that he is hungry. He's happy to go to anyone, but he knows who mommy is which all the mommies in the world can imagine, makes me one very happy lady.
Happy Birthday Schroeder! You were delivered so quickly, it felt like an alien was being expelled from my body. You've turned from that crazy alien Sprocket to a wonderful little boy with lots of spunk.

Those Moxley Kids

My sister's pregnancy came to an abrupt and tragic end last Thursday, March 18th. She went into premature labor at 20 weeks gestation and delivered her triplets. Roanin was born first and survived almost two hours. Kade came second and survived for an hour. My sister, in the midst of the delivery, was able to take these brief hours with her sons to pray for them, hold them, and tell them how much she loved them. The doctors were hopeful that labor could be stopped and Nathaniel spared, but unfortunately, his heart stopped beating in utero. He was born last, almost three hours after Roanin and at twice the size, a mere 10 ounces.
I've attempted to write this update several times and have struggled to put into words what it is I want to say. I'm sad that our family will never get a chance to know these boys; to see what color their hair was intended to be, to experience their sense of humor, or to see them interact as triplets. I'm sad that my sister had to give birth to her sons on the same day she had to say goodbye to them. These children were so wanted, so hoped for. I can't imagine the devastation she felt that morning as she delivered them. Thinking of her in that hospital, holding her tiny sons brings tears to my eyes every time.
And, yet, I'm so proud of her for the way she is handling her grief. Because, in the midst of that tragic morning, she took time to take joy in her sons. That's what mothers do. They sacrifice, hope, and pray, and then they enjoy their children. As short as their lives were, just 20 weeks, Connie had already done all these things for them. She was willing to give up her body, her life, her money in the hope that these babies would have an opportunity at a full life. You can imagine, that in the midst of her grief she is asking herself if she could have done more. From my vantage point, though, those boys could not have had a more wise, more sacrificial, more God fearing mommy. She did all that she could.
Now she must remember the very brief time she spent with them, grieve all of the moments she won't have, and somehow allow herself to heal and hope that Nathaniel, Kade, and Roanin will someday have more siblings. This is such a hard road to walk, and I'm praying that God would bring her, her husband Jason, and her five year old, Gabriel continual comfort.

Those Moxley Kids: Update #5 on my sister

Once again, my sister headed to Cincinnati today. The specialists ran their tests and once again confirmed that the babies' hearts have not gotten worse. So, they are putting the surgery off again. They are, though, going to do an amniocentesis to remove the fluid around the recipient twin. They estimate that he has more than a liter of fluid that is taking up everyone's space, both his brothers' and his mother's. Connie is super uncomfortable because one little guy is up under her ribs and she finds it difficult to find a comfortable position. Hopefully removing this fluid with benefit her comfort, the health of the babies, and the outcome of this pregnancy.

Something really cool is that Connie's doctor suggested she get a recliner to prevent blood clots. My sister doesn't own one, but within an hour of posting it on her hospital care page, several of her friends offered her one. It's always great to see peoples' generosity and care come out. In situations like these, people really want to know how they can help and it's cool that her blog is a way to convey her needs.

These babies also have names....but I'm not sure I can share them.

All things girly

Ballet, bows, "high heals", makeup, dresses, and baby dolls will all be multiplied by two when Teresa Margaret Lucy Williams joins our family in the second half of August (new "official" due date of August 14).

Those Moxley Kids: Update #4 on my sister

I would say this update brings positive news. My sister went for almost 10 days before she finally had another bleeding episode that sent her to the hospital. For the last couple of weeks, she had been to the hospital every 5 days so this hopefully indicates that her bleeding is lighter and taking longer to build up. Her doctor told her that she hoped the bleeds would end altogether by 22-26 weeks.

Connie went to Cincinatti for the 3rd time today fully expecting to have her surgery tomorrow. Unexpectedly, the babies' heart have not worsened and their status was downgraded from 3c to 3b. The doctors were surprised, but decided that instead of going forward with the surgery they would continue to monitor Connie every Thursday and would consider the surgery again when the babies' condition worsened. Sounds like they expect that it will eventually worsen, but will wait, pray, and see.

Connie, in my opinion, is holding up emotionally very well. She is trying to do everything she can to help the babies, but she really doesn't have much control over the situation. If this surgery is inevitable, she really just wants to get it over with. Waiting and wondering is hard. However, hearing that the boys are fairing well is never unwanted news.

She might have an amniocentesis early next week to draw off a lot of the water that is in the recipient twin's sack. There afraid that it is adding additional weight that could cause Connie to go into early labor.

Thanks for your support and prayers. Hopefully, you will feel more confident to pray that these guys continue to tolerate their situation.