Last night was terrible. We are trying to buy a hundred and ten year old home in downtown Indianapolis. Yesterday afternoon, I learned that our mortgage lender, USAA, was asking for some work to be done to the home prior to closing. I received this information via email and attempted to call our realtor and our mortgage borker. Neither picked up. I then phoned my husband who did answer. Our conversation went something like this, or at least this is what I remember of it.
S: Hey.
M: We just got stupid news from Vanessa.
S: Who's Vanessa again?
M: (Low Grumble) Vanessa is our mortgage lady at USAA.
S: Oh, yeah, ok.
M: She said we needed to ...
S: blah, blah, blah (making the situation look less than dire).
M: On the verge of tears. I'm done. I'm just done. I'm done.
S: You're done with what?
M: Everything.
S: Ok? Honey, I've got to go. I have a meeting.
M: Of course you do. (Hang up)
Let me translate. Of course you do meant, of course you do, you've been working for the last week straight and have left me at home with the kids and to take care of all this crap. What it didn't mean but probably should have is, of course you do, you've been working crazy hours to try to finish your current project and ultimately provide for this family.
I'm done. I'm just done. I'm done. meant that I'm sick of the constant stream of major events in our lives and the complications and stress that seem to come with them. I had just been thinking about the craziness of the past twelve months. Last March, my triplet nephews were born premature and didn't survive. Death in the family equals 63 stress points. Last May, we moved out of our house in Texas and into Stephen's parents home. Change in living conditions equals 25 stress points. We get along with our family but are definitely spending more time with them. Change in number of family reunions equals 15 stress points. We inevitably change churches. 19 stress points. I was pregnant. 40 stress points. That pregnancy eventually resulted in Stephen and I delivering Maggie Lu in our bathroom. Gain a new family member equals 39 stress points. We finally decided to rent our home in Texas. I will classify this as minor mortgage or loan. 17 stress points. Then December came. Christmas equals 12 stress points. Now we are trying to purchase a home. Major mortgage equals 32 stress points. My total is up to 262. According to Holmes and Rahe my risk of illness due to stress is moderate.
Ok, I'll concede that I was being a bit dramatic, but I was certainly feeling those 262 points yesterday evening.
But today is a new day. Nothing has changed. All of that has still happened, and the demands of our mortgage broker are still ahead of us. I had energy to face them today, though. Tuesday is my normal day to go grocery shopping so after lunch I headed out with Maggie Lu. We stopped by McDonalds so I could get a happy meal. We stopped by a Kid's Resale shop where I was able to end my self imposed spending embargo on a pair of shoes for D'arcy. I stopped by the car wash to vacuum out my car. As Maggie and I headed to Kroger, Coldplay came on 92.3. As Chris Martin sang, "Nobody said it was easy. No one ever said it would be so hard." I thought, that's exactly right Chris. It was like the stress just started escaping from my body leaving through my tears. The sun was soaking it up. All of a sudden I was so grateful for the sun, for 92.3, for the sweet thing sitting in my backseat. I was thankful that I was able to spend part of my Sunday looking through paint swatches with my sister trying to find the just the right shade of green for Eowyn and Tessa, my nieces due in July.
Is it possible for the Holy Spirit to utilize Coldplay to answer my prayer for peace? I mean, Coldplay for heaven's sake.
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
Faith Comes Softly: Dedication
Maggie Lu was dedicated in January in our new church. It was a crazy day because we also unexpectedly put an offer on a house that day. So we were running from that to church which meets at night. Church was being held in a different venue that evening. Instead of being quiet and dim, it felt loud and bright. Maybe our senses were heightened because of the big decision we had just made.
We had a chance to stand in front of our congregation, our family, and our God and do two things. We vowed to raise our children and specifically Maggie in the truths that Jesus came to teach and the grace he died to give. We also asked for help because that is a heavy job. Thankfully so many people are up to helping us.
My hope for Maggie is that she will decide to take the risk of looking and feeling like a fool and embrace faith in Christ.
We had a chance to stand in front of our congregation, our family, and our God and do two things. We vowed to raise our children and specifically Maggie in the truths that Jesus came to teach and the grace he died to give. We also asked for help because that is a heavy job. Thankfully so many people are up to helping us.
My hope for Maggie is that she will decide to take the risk of looking and feeling like a fool and embrace faith in Christ.
Maggie at six months.
My sweet Maggie Lu has been with us for half a year.
In this picture she looks very similar to Schroe.
Thanks to Auntie Katie for having cool taste. She works at Banana Republic and hooked Maggie up with this outfit for Christmas. Thanks to Uncle Josh for having good taste in women.
Bow.
In this picture she looks very similar to Schroe.
Thanks to Auntie Katie for having cool taste. She works at Banana Republic and hooked Maggie up with this outfit for Christmas. Thanks to Uncle Josh for having good taste in women.
Bow.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Raising Maggie
Maggie is a fourth child. That is why I haven't updated you on her life progress in several months. That might also be why she was thirteen pounds at her last checkup instead of sixteen like D'arcy was at her age. I told the doctor I didn't think I was doing anything differently. I'm nursing her at the same intervals. The doctor reminded me that I have three other children at home. Yeah, I guess I never nursed D'arcy while a one year old was trying to scale me from the front, from the back, from the side. It's ok, Maggie is fine with three thigh rolls instead of six. Just in case, though, I am still feeding her once at night and lots of cereal mixed with formula.
She is doing all the normal things, pooping, crying, smiling, rolling over, grabbing her feet, pseudo sitting up. I like to call our babies little stroke victims. No offense intended. They just don't know how to use their hands properly. They overreach and can't grab causing things to knock over. She's recovering from her stroke of infancy very well, though, and is already an expert at popping her pacifier in and out of her mouth.
We are still living at our in laws and for lack of room, she is sleeping in our walk in closet. All was well until she started rolling over. This caused us to stop swaddling. This caused her to cry at night which made mommy want to shake her. This caused Daddy to wake up in spite of his deafness in one ear. So you see that both of us were at our wits end. It was hard to let her cry it out even for ten minutes because she was right there in our room. So, I cleaned out the closet, popped up the pack n play. Now we all get plenty of sleep.
I'm spending lots of moments holding her trying to remember her at this tiny age. She's been grabbing my face with her little hands and giving me sweet open mouthed kisses. My mom said once that she doesn't laugh much, but she always seems amused. This is true. She is just a little, dainty, sweet thing with lots of stick straight blond hair. It's much more tame than a couple of months ago, but now is suffering from winter dryness. My sister said her hair looks like Christopher Lloyd's. Now it gets conditioned.
Her siblings love her. We are trying to convince D'arcy that she isn't her personal, live baby doll. Julian loves giving her kisses on the head. Schroeder calls her baby. "Hey baby"..."Hey baby". He has all good intentions but he can get a little rough. This baby likes me best, though. When someone else is holding her, I can't look at her because if we lock eyes she'll cry until I take her back. I think it's kind of cute, but other people aren't amused. Her daddy finds it annoying. I've never had a baby who was so attached to me. Thankfully, she isn't to the point of throwing a fit if I leave her with a babysitter or in the nursery.
The plan is to take some six months photos in the next week so be on the lookout for more photos of Miss Maggie Lu.
She is doing all the normal things, pooping, crying, smiling, rolling over, grabbing her feet, pseudo sitting up. I like to call our babies little stroke victims. No offense intended. They just don't know how to use their hands properly. They overreach and can't grab causing things to knock over. She's recovering from her stroke of infancy very well, though, and is already an expert at popping her pacifier in and out of her mouth.
We are still living at our in laws and for lack of room, she is sleeping in our walk in closet. All was well until she started rolling over. This caused us to stop swaddling. This caused her to cry at night which made mommy want to shake her. This caused Daddy to wake up in spite of his deafness in one ear. So you see that both of us were at our wits end. It was hard to let her cry it out even for ten minutes because she was right there in our room. So, I cleaned out the closet, popped up the pack n play. Now we all get plenty of sleep.
I'm spending lots of moments holding her trying to remember her at this tiny age. She's been grabbing my face with her little hands and giving me sweet open mouthed kisses. My mom said once that she doesn't laugh much, but she always seems amused. This is true. She is just a little, dainty, sweet thing with lots of stick straight blond hair. It's much more tame than a couple of months ago, but now is suffering from winter dryness. My sister said her hair looks like Christopher Lloyd's. Now it gets conditioned.
Her siblings love her. We are trying to convince D'arcy that she isn't her personal, live baby doll. Julian loves giving her kisses on the head. Schroeder calls her baby. "Hey baby"..."Hey baby". He has all good intentions but he can get a little rough. This baby likes me best, though. When someone else is holding her, I can't look at her because if we lock eyes she'll cry until I take her back. I think it's kind of cute, but other people aren't amused. Her daddy finds it annoying. I've never had a baby who was so attached to me. Thankfully, she isn't to the point of throwing a fit if I leave her with a babysitter or in the nursery.
The plan is to take some six months photos in the next week so be on the lookout for more photos of Miss Maggie Lu.
Wading
I thought we had made this decision, but we are moving downtown. The options have changed. So now we are wading through the school swamp.
Diversity. Rigor of Academics. Curriculum. Teachers. Distance. Money. Sacrifice. Parent Involvement. Safety. Faith.
These are all considerations. The question is which are most important? For D'arcy? For Julian? For Schroeder and Maggie Lu? For the fifth child we plan to have? For Stephen and I?
If I were to prioritize these values, my list would probably look different than a lot of my friends. Friends who are fantastic parents. That makes me pause and wonder what that makes me. This decision cannot be made on insecurity, though.
In broad strokes, what I want for my kids is simple. I want them to be adults that can embrace faith, love and be loved, and positively contribute to their community. I'm betting this can be achieved regardless of the school I choose for them.
Still, We are going to keep filling out application forms for public magnet schools, for some private schools, for some public charter schools (one even that is a hybrid school), and for some local public schools. Stephen and I will pray for wisdom on what choice to make. We'll hopefully find ourselves on the other side of this swamp sometime in April. Then we'll prepare to resist the urge to defend ourselves when someone raises their eyebrow to our choices.
Diversity. Rigor of Academics. Curriculum. Teachers. Distance. Money. Sacrifice. Parent Involvement. Safety. Faith.
These are all considerations. The question is which are most important? For D'arcy? For Julian? For Schroeder and Maggie Lu? For the fifth child we plan to have? For Stephen and I?
If I were to prioritize these values, my list would probably look different than a lot of my friends. Friends who are fantastic parents. That makes me pause and wonder what that makes me. This decision cannot be made on insecurity, though.
In broad strokes, what I want for my kids is simple. I want them to be adults that can embrace faith, love and be loved, and positively contribute to their community. I'm betting this can be achieved regardless of the school I choose for them.
Still, We are going to keep filling out application forms for public magnet schools, for some private schools, for some public charter schools (one even that is a hybrid school), and for some local public schools. Stephen and I will pray for wisdom on what choice to make. We'll hopefully find ourselves on the other side of this swamp sometime in April. Then we'll prepare to resist the urge to defend ourselves when someone raises their eyebrow to our choices.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
We had a good week.
Last Sunday after church, a friend asked me about my week. I said it was good while I tried to remember what happened. When my memory booted up, I chuckled to myself. Yeah, this week has been good.
We put an offer on a house. My sister had an ultrasound suggesting both babies were growing well. My brother received his referral from Ethiopia.
Do you ever fret and worry about something? Then it happens as you hoped it would. The celebration lasts two minutes and then you are on to thinking about the next step? That's why I couldn't remember what had happened only six or seven days ago. I had long since moved on from the "Whopee!" moment into the "What's next?" moment. I should spend more time in "Whopee!"
We put an offer on a 3000 square foot, 100 year old, 2 story house downtown. It has a parlor. It has built in bookcases. It has ceilings a million feet high. We went looking with our realtor, Tad, on Friday. We looked at three homes. Stephen and I both found a home we liked, but they weren't the same. I was frustrated because I thought we would be on the same page, but we weren't. We had a little house pow wow on Friday night. I saw his point of view. He saw mine. We looked at the other options on Realtor.com and knew that this home would most likely work for both of us. It did. It's in short sale, though. For those of you who don't speak realtor, it means that the house is on the verge of being foreclosed on so the bank needs to agree to the sale. Banks are slow. So we are waiting. Who wants to move when its four degrees out anyway?
My brother received a referral for a two month old little boy named Rogi. Everyone's reaction to his name is, "AWWWW..." Rogi is Ethiopian. They decided that he will be further named Rogi James Clark. RJ is an acceptable nickname. In due time, I'll share his sweet face, but won't be able until Rogi is legally Kyle and Emily's child. Here's something that tickles me. Kyle has never flown. His first trip on an airplane will be to Africa. They'll go in April(ish) to appear in court. Then Emily will go again in the summer to bring Rogi home. I'm getting my passport and shots in order just in case I get to go, too. I have a couple other commitments that could conflict. We'll just have to wait and see.
Rogi might be coming home around the same time that my sister brings home her twins who are now fourteen weeks old. My sister may or may not have lots of purple in her near future. The ultrasound tech said that her early estimate is GIRLS!
Whopee!
We put an offer on a house. My sister had an ultrasound suggesting both babies were growing well. My brother received his referral from Ethiopia.
Do you ever fret and worry about something? Then it happens as you hoped it would. The celebration lasts two minutes and then you are on to thinking about the next step? That's why I couldn't remember what had happened only six or seven days ago. I had long since moved on from the "Whopee!" moment into the "What's next?" moment. I should spend more time in "Whopee!"
We put an offer on a 3000 square foot, 100 year old, 2 story house downtown. It has a parlor. It has built in bookcases. It has ceilings a million feet high. We went looking with our realtor, Tad, on Friday. We looked at three homes. Stephen and I both found a home we liked, but they weren't the same. I was frustrated because I thought we would be on the same page, but we weren't. We had a little house pow wow on Friday night. I saw his point of view. He saw mine. We looked at the other options on Realtor.com and knew that this home would most likely work for both of us. It did. It's in short sale, though. For those of you who don't speak realtor, it means that the house is on the verge of being foreclosed on so the bank needs to agree to the sale. Banks are slow. So we are waiting. Who wants to move when its four degrees out anyway?
My brother received a referral for a two month old little boy named Rogi. Everyone's reaction to his name is, "AWWWW..." Rogi is Ethiopian. They decided that he will be further named Rogi James Clark. RJ is an acceptable nickname. In due time, I'll share his sweet face, but won't be able until Rogi is legally Kyle and Emily's child. Here's something that tickles me. Kyle has never flown. His first trip on an airplane will be to Africa. They'll go in April(ish) to appear in court. Then Emily will go again in the summer to bring Rogi home. I'm getting my passport and shots in order just in case I get to go, too. I have a couple other commitments that could conflict. We'll just have to wait and see.
Rogi might be coming home around the same time that my sister brings home her twins who are now fourteen weeks old. My sister may or may not have lots of purple in her near future. The ultrasound tech said that her early estimate is GIRLS!
Whopee!
Friday, January 7, 2011
January
I've come to love January. It gives me what most other months steal, time. No one wants their photos taken in January. Everyone is partied and get-togethered out. A day that seems boring in August, feels restful and refreshing in January.
I don't embrace the idea of New Year's Resolutions. I get that people like making a fresh start and that a new calendar year makes that fresh start seem more concrete in their minds. But there were reasons people did what they did in 2010. Bad habits, addictions, and wrong ways of thinking are not eradicated by a resolution but instead by truth and self-discipline. Truth must be sought after and self-discipline must be learned and practiced. Most peoples resolutions fail because while their intentions are good they don't have the tools to make their resolutions stick.
In San Antonio, our church typically did some sort of fast beginning in January. During a fast, something must be given up and replaced by prayer and reflection. Maybe fasting might help people both create valid resolutions and stick to them. I decided that I wouldn't purchase anything unnecessary until the end of February. That means no clothes, extra makeup, home decorations, movies, books, games, pictures, camera equipment, baby items, etc. I've been spending money clothing our family for winter, a season we really haven't experienced for six years. I've also been spending for Christmas and my business. I wasn't out of control. I just thought it would be good to reflect on what it means to live simply and what it means to need something. I've found myself telling several people this decision. I hope I didn't come across as self righteous. I guess I just want to share what I'm processing both spiritually and practically.
A couple of my friends have suggested selecting one word that they would spend the year considering and focusing on. Words like prioritizing, simplifying, and listening were thrown out there. A friend of my sisters said hers would be peace. If I made New Year's Resolutions, one would be that I speak kinder and yell less to my kids. Maybe if I reflect and prayerfully consider peace in 2011, I'll be inspired daily to live out this resolution.
Can a house with four kids six and under be peaceful?
What does that even mean? It certainly does not mean a house without disagreements or discipline. It probably does not mean a quiet house, although more quiet moments would be nice.
And what about peace beyond the limits of our immediate family. What does it look like between people who are of different opinions or different values. Maybe the Prince of Peace will give me the inside scoop.
I thought peace tied into my shopping fast. I guess financial peace came to mind. I think we have financial peace already, but I'm open to new revelations on this front as well. Although, I will not be reading any Dave Ramsey books this month. I already have a book I need to finish. A book I agreed to read in August that I feel like I haven't had time for, but now... January is here.
I don't embrace the idea of New Year's Resolutions. I get that people like making a fresh start and that a new calendar year makes that fresh start seem more concrete in their minds. But there were reasons people did what they did in 2010. Bad habits, addictions, and wrong ways of thinking are not eradicated by a resolution but instead by truth and self-discipline. Truth must be sought after and self-discipline must be learned and practiced. Most peoples resolutions fail because while their intentions are good they don't have the tools to make their resolutions stick.
In San Antonio, our church typically did some sort of fast beginning in January. During a fast, something must be given up and replaced by prayer and reflection. Maybe fasting might help people both create valid resolutions and stick to them. I decided that I wouldn't purchase anything unnecessary until the end of February. That means no clothes, extra makeup, home decorations, movies, books, games, pictures, camera equipment, baby items, etc. I've been spending money clothing our family for winter, a season we really haven't experienced for six years. I've also been spending for Christmas and my business. I wasn't out of control. I just thought it would be good to reflect on what it means to live simply and what it means to need something. I've found myself telling several people this decision. I hope I didn't come across as self righteous. I guess I just want to share what I'm processing both spiritually and practically.
A couple of my friends have suggested selecting one word that they would spend the year considering and focusing on. Words like prioritizing, simplifying, and listening were thrown out there. A friend of my sisters said hers would be peace. If I made New Year's Resolutions, one would be that I speak kinder and yell less to my kids. Maybe if I reflect and prayerfully consider peace in 2011, I'll be inspired daily to live out this resolution.
Can a house with four kids six and under be peaceful?
What does that even mean? It certainly does not mean a house without disagreements or discipline. It probably does not mean a quiet house, although more quiet moments would be nice.
And what about peace beyond the limits of our immediate family. What does it look like between people who are of different opinions or different values. Maybe the Prince of Peace will give me the inside scoop.
I thought peace tied into my shopping fast. I guess financial peace came to mind. I think we have financial peace already, but I'm open to new revelations on this front as well. Although, I will not be reading any Dave Ramsey books this month. I already have a book I need to finish. A book I agreed to read in August that I feel like I haven't had time for, but now... January is here.
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